Desire
by honeydewslush
Summary: "Mikasa." His voice emanated through her ears. The sound was familiar, but there was a difference – a change that came with age. Her frozen form gazed into the stunning blue eyes that have comforted and haunted her. Swallowing inaudibly, her voice was as soft as the wind. "Erwin." [EruMika & RivaMika]
1. Chapter 1 - Kaleidoscope

Contribution to EruMika Week.

Day 1 – **Kaleidoscope**.

* * *

"Mikasa Ackerman."

Lifting her head from her packet and releasing the end of the pen she was chewing, she craned her neck in search within the large Starbucks locale of whoever sported her name. Her eyes met with piercing ones – a short man with an undercut and a cravat.

"Levi Ackerman," she replied with a teasing tone. With a small, polite curve of her lips, she arose from her chair and shook his hand as he extended it.

The Ackermans were very known defense attorneys – they were _good_ and they were _dangerous_. Rarely do they encounter face-to-face, much less talk to one another in public, Mikasa absently thought that this must have been the third time they spoke to each other.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked, slightly breathless from reviewing her case. She had been sitting at her usual, cozy corner for the past two hours mulling over some vague details. She would have to remind her assistant, Sasha Blouse, to correct them.

"I apologize for interrupting you," Levi glanced at the thick packet on the table and briefly observed her laid-back appearance of a crème v-neck blouse, skinny jeans, and flats. The moment he laid his eyes on her, her youthful beauty enamored him and, from their two previous short meetings, her intellect and personality only charmed him more. (And feeling quite old by his outfit of a tucked white button shirt and slacks, with the addition of his cravat).

Needless to say, he was captivated – and he is rarely so.

"Oh, it is quite alright," Mikasa gave a low chuckle while tucking her hair behind her right ear. Turning her head, she shuffled her scrambled papers into a semi-neat pile and sandwiched them as she closed her laptop. All the while, she gestured the seat in front of her with her chin, "Please, sit. I tend to get a little carried away when I get too engrossed with my cases."

Levi thanked her as he took his seat, eyeing the paper mess in front of him with distaste.

Settling herself down as she pushed her work aside, Mikasa clasped her hands and twined her fingers together. "How may I help you, Levi?"

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Nothing drastically important." A strange action, Mikasa noted. One of Levi's well-known qualities was his air of confidence that was almost arrogant.

She remained silent as he cleared his throat, a fist held close to his mouth. At the same moment, a waiter came by and set down two tall drinks of iced Americano. "I actually knew you were going to be here and decided to take this chance to talk to you." As the waiter left, he gently shoved one of the drinks to her.

"Oh, thank you…and what did you want to talk about?"

After taking a sip of his drink, he stared at her directly in the eyes, "You were Pixis' golden girl. 2008, the case regarding his presidential campaign. You proved that fabricated evidence was used in an effort to extort money from Dot Pixis."

Also taking a sip of her own, she shook her head, "That was 6 years ago."

He grinned, his eyes turning dark with impress, "It was a noticeable feat. It was one of the first cases you received after graduating from Harvard Law. Many decided that if it were not for your brilliant handling on the case, Dot Pixis would not have won the election. Thus, immediately leading him to hire you as his personal attorney. Again, a noticeable feat for a young 26-year old woman."

Mikasa scoffed as he mentioned her age. It was barely a year from recently graduating and, all of a sudden, she was given a nation-wide case. She was young – a gambler and stubborn whenever she handled her cases. Although, Pixis did point out it was a part of her charm. Now, 32-years old, her way of approaching her cases still remained the same.

"And what is the point of you mentioning past events?"

"I'm just setting up the foundation to what lead to a fairy-tale romance, Ms. Ackerman," he smiled mockingly.

Her blood ran cold, colder than the iced Americano drink within her hands.

Levi continued, feigning ignorance to her rather obvious reaction, "And through Pixis' Cabinet and with a little help of a presidential ball, you met a very close friend of mine."

Placing both of his elbows on the table, he leaned in and his smiled turned predatory, "I was there that night, Mikasa. I watched at the corner of my eye as my colleague was reduced into a fluttering teenage boy."

She felt her heart race and blood coloring her cheeks. She would never forget that night. It was – still is – the best night she ever had. It was unrestricted and free as she wore her heart on her sleeve.

Childishly, she closed her eyes and looked away from him, whispering, "I don't know what you're talking about."

He sighed, leaning back into his seat, "My boss would be very disappointed by your response, Mikasa. He would be extremely heartbroken."

Snapping her eyes open, she looked at him directly in the eyes as he had done before, "Your boss?"

His predatory grin remained as he casually stated, "Why, yes, I work for Erwin Smith."

_Erwin Smith_.

The man who stole her heart.

Mikasa could practically hear her heart thumping at the mere mention of his name. It has been a while since she heard it out loud from someone's lips… and her own.

Pixis stated that another part of her charm was her stoic nature – managing to keep a calm composure within any given situation. But whenever it comes to _Erwin Smith_, her control goes out the window.

Levi silently watched as her face turned into a shade of pink. That night, his friend was not the only one who was taken by her silent beauty. He had let Erwin stake the claim while he was, at the time, in a relationship with the lovely and charming Petra Ral, the daughter of a well-known politician.

As shameless as it was, Levi began to regret letting his friend strike first. The young woman who sat opposite to him had blossomed prettily as she entered her thirties. Stoic and cunning – these were qualities Levi wanted in a woman, someone to relate to and not be intimidated by his own cold disposition.

Mikasa stared at the water droplet sliding down the plastic cup of the drink she held between her palms and nervously questioned, "Is…is he… asking about me?"

"No. He's busy. As you know, he is the head of the MRS." _Maria, Rose & Sina_, an independent law firm with an outstanding reputation. She had forgotten that Levi did work in that firm. How did she miss that detail?

But right now, she was confused and a little angry. Not at the fact that _he _did not ask about her, but because it seemed that Levi was treating her like a game.

"Then, tell me, Levi." Her stare turned into a glare. "What are you trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to find some kind of loophole and then present the press with something –

His hand jutted out, waving it side to side, "Oh no, you misunderstand. No malicious intent, I assure you. I apologize, but I am honestly curious as to what your relationship is –

"Was." She interrupted this time.

He paused and his eyes alighted of what seemed like _relief_. "Was," he repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"I am not looking for a man, Levi. I am content with my present life." Although she had to admit, he was an attractive man.

"Well… it would be a lie if I were to say that I was not _interested_. But I understand, after all – he was the first one." As soon as the relief left his eyes, regret started to seep in.

Mikasa finished her drink. It tasted bland since the ice had melted. Drifting her gaze past his shoulder and settling on a young couple canoodling at the other corner of the Starbucks locale, she murmured with a sigh, "Indeed… he was, regrettably, the one that got away…"

* * *

Dot Pixis won the presidential campaign of 2008.

Mikasa was not shocked to receive an invitation to the President's Inaugural Ball. Dr. Hanji Zoe, her mentor and respected doctorate in law, told her that it was expected, proudly ruffling her apprentice's black hair. But what surprised her was the personally signed invitation – Pixis only hand-signed invitations to people he liked. As she showed it to Hanji, she was literally on her toes and her glasses were in a mess.

As expected, she went bananas when Mikasa told her she was going to be her "plus one" to bring to the ball.

Mikasa found herself thrown into chaos (as Hanji managed her outfit and makeup) of a slate gray, strapless dress – the bodice hugging comfortably, cupping her breasts modestly, and the skirt flowed until above her knees. Hanji arranged her medium-length hair into a sophisticated bun; clipping a small, floral-patterned gray barrette at the side. Her makeup consisted of a pink, rosy shade on her lips, cursing at Hanji when she pinched her eyelid whilst curling.

As soon as they entered the event, Hanji released her arm and floated away to look for a "sugar daddy." She laughed quietly to herself, before stopping as a waiter passing by offered her champagne.

Gliding from one person to another, Mikasa was bombarded with praise and compliments, from politicians, mostly, and she returned their comments in a proper manner.

Although most of the attention was on her that night, the gaze of one man across the large room did not escape her. The blond man stood beside the grand staircase, chatting with a shorter man and a cheerful girl around that man's arm, but she could feel his blue eyes on her most of the time.

She glanced at him when he would not expect it. Was he good-looking? _Definitely_. She would always catch him talking with a different lady and said ladies would have a blush on their cheeks. Was she interested? Well, she was not looking for a relationship or anything really, but she was open to the idea of it.

His looks continued for the next hour and she began to feel flustered by his gazes. With the addition of champagne and the compact atmosphere of chatty politicians and socialites, she exited the main room and went to a less crowded and open area.

Taking a break on a bench, she checked her phone, which had vibrated a few minutes ago. Hanji sent her a message and Mikasa laughed again, she would definitely be going back to the hotel alone.

"I'm curious to know what is it you find amusing."

Lifting her head, she took a sharp breath.

He was the last person she expected to meet out here.

It was a bold move on his part. Perhaps it was the effect of the cocktail. She had noticed that with each different lady his hand held a different drink.

Settling on the empty space at the end of the bench, he smiled handsomely, extending his large hand for a shake, "Erwin Smith."

Placing the phone back into her purse, she gripped his warm hand, "Mikasa Ackerman."

"Oh, I know," Erwin laughed, his blue eyes gleaming mischievously. "You're belle of the ball tonight, Ms. Ackerman. Everyone is constantly seeking for your attention. Of course, you played an important role in our President's successful campaign."

"Being the center of attention is the last thing I need. And Mikasa is just fine… Erwin." She could feel heat rise to her cheeks as she said his name.

"And I attended the mock trial event in Harvard… the fall of 2006, I believe. I was very impressed by your professionalism, Mikasa."

She blinked in surprise. During her 5th year in Harvard, she took the mantle of Mock Trial Club Leader. Tight competition with many other students and organizations, no one had ever remembered her during the events. Plus, only professors and a few lawyers attended them. "Oh, you remember me?"

"Short black hair with glasses and a red scarf. You wore a Harvard Law "Just Kidding" sweatshirt," he teased and chuckled as Mikasa hid her face in her lap, since she could not hide within her hairdo of a bun.

Oh, how embarrassing.

The night air had become chilly and the two headed inside. Mikasa learned that he was an attorney under MRS. Most of the cases he accepted were ones regarding trusts, estates, property, trade, and finance. He was a different attorney from her criminal defense specialty.

Conversing with him was surprisingly easy, and this was coming from someone who was not a particularly social person. It was comfortable talking to him and she felt like herself, discussing political topics and even debating upon them. They stood beneath the archway of the staircase, halfway within the shadows, a few feet away from where he was standing over hours ago.

The drinks, their location, his gazes, gestures and the way he talked – he made her feel like she was the only woman in the room. It was no wonder why women looked so flustered whilst talking to him.

He was leaning against the column, sipping his drink and discussing his opinion on the current national finance. She could tell that he was trying to impress her, show his knowledge and turn on his charm.

Finding one of his opinions amusing, she laughed, covering her mouth with her free hand and slightly bending forward. He laughed along with her, finishing his drink with one gulp and plucking the empty champagne glass from her other hand before giving them to a passing waiter.

"Despite your infamous stoic nature, you're laugh is gorgeous," he murmured warmly, the copious amount of drinks finally hitting him.

"You digress, Mr. Smith," she tried to let him return to their previous conversation, feeling butterflies arise in her stomach from his warm tone. "Continue with your rather hysterical, yet accurate outlook of our nation's financial problems."

He did not respond as he raised his hand and, very gently, tucked a strand of hair that escaped her bun. He had been eyeing it minutes ago when she bent her neck to laugh. "I'm very captivated by you, Ms. Ackerman."

Before she could reply, he closed the distance between them, tilting her chin up with his fingers, and her lips were greeted by a soft kiss.

The percentage of her going back to the hotel alone significantly decreased.

* * *

Mikasa pulled his head back, grasping his now-messy blonde hair. Her chest heaved breathlessly and she shook her head, her mind hazy with alcohol and an unknown passion, "I… I don't do this… this…"

"This what, Mikasa?" Erwin asked softly before placing his lips to the column of her neck. "What do you mean by _this_?" She moaned quietly as she felt his lips rub against her skin.

It happened so quickly, almost in a blur, but she could remember everything. Leaving the ball side by side because everyone would know what was about to go down if they were seen hand-in-hand. Getting into his car, one with his own personal chauffeur, and taking the flight of stairs to avoid attention. As soon as they entered the room, she was attacked by kisses on her bare shoulder and they dove beneath the clean, cotton sheets.

His shirt was unbuttoned and his tie tossed aside. Her hands shyly traced the smooth planes of his chest and stroked his abdominals. Her hair was undone and flowing past her shoulders, curled from hours of being in a bun. His fingers were everywhere, from running through her hair to softly fondling her calf, then her thigh beneath the dress.

"This," she repeated with her eyes closed, gasping as she felt his tongue trace her collarbone. She realized he could very easily pull down her dress and take her bare brea– She did not even want to finish that thought. "Sleeping with someone on the night they just met."

He laughed, his warm breath caressing her pale skin, "I'm not that kind of a man, Mikasa. I have no intentions of going that far." Then he lifted his head, a rather naughty grin on his face, "Unless you want to, of course… I won't deny your yearning."

Observing her faintly panicked expression, he stroked her right cheek with his thumb, tracing absently over her scar as he glanced at it. "But I think _this_, what we're doing right now, is perfect." Cupping her face, he captured her lips once more.

It was surreal like a kaleidoscope – the feeling of his body pressed against hers, fingers caressing bare skin, lips and tongues touching, hearts beating rapidly, stolen breaths, whispers of each other's name and everything. The focus of her mind and vision was solely on him and his actions that sent pleasurable tingles all over her body.

Though he did not voice it, the choice was up to her, whether she wanted it to go further or not. But just like he said, _this _was perfect.


	2. Chapter 2 - Scars

Contribution to EruMika Week.

Day 2 - **Scars**.

Continuation of first chapter.

* * *

"The weeks after that night were amazing," Mikasa recalled, rubbing her thumbs over her second cup of iced Americano (courtesy of Levi) with a flush in her cheeks. "It came to a point where texts, e-mails, and weekly dates weren't enough. He was devastated when he couldn't meet me during Christmas that year, attending a function for a friend if I remember… But he made up for it the day after."

Levi uttered a hum, but chose to make no comment on what she previously said.

She took a sip of her drink before clearing her suddenly tight throat, "To anyone's eyes, we were very much in love."

He remained silent, a little piece of his heart going out for the young woman.

Levi was no fool. He could see it in Erwin's eyes, where a mere mention of her name would bring about an inaudible reaction. Hell, he even has a picture of her in his wallet (not that Erwin knew he looked through it) – her eyes wide and innocent, her hair slightly disheveled and her fingers held some documents, which Levi assumed that the photo was taken by surprise whilst reading them.

There was just one thing he wanted to know, the one thing Erwin refused to talk about.

"What happened?"

It was annoying how Erwin would come to work, acting nonchalant. But, once again, Levi was no fool. He could see past the charade – his giddiness that was akin to an adolescent boy and the _I had sex last night (and this morning, too)_ aura.

It was sickening.

Sickeningly sweet.

Levi left his thoughts and watched Mikasa stare blankly at the center of the table, sucking her front teeth with her tongue as she considered her reply to his question.

"Our careers. Other people. You know the drill, Levi. As attorneys, our work isn't from 9 to 5. We're constantly on our toes, representing the common people."

_True_, he thought. Then resumed with their discussion. "Miscommunication did not contribute as a factor?"

Mikasa sighed, swirling the contents of her cup, "No, Erwin never lied to me. At least… he never lied to me about the things we talked about."

"So he was keeping secrets?" Levi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Erwin always had a secretive side to him and it was infuriating how good he was at hiding things.

She closed her eyes, a mountain rising in her throat. Might as well tell him. They had gotten this far in their conversation. "He did not want me to know." She shook her head fiercely, "But that does not give him the right to involve me in his _situation_."

"Situation?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Mikasa lifted her head. For the first time, Levi saw rare vulnerability project from her gray eyes. They were filled with hurt and betrayal. "He was engaged to Congresswoman Marie Dok."

Both of his thin eyebrows were now raised, arched upon his forehead. "_Engaged?_" He frowned, feeling somewhat disappointed by their friendship. "This is the first time I've heard of this."

"It was a secret only a few people knew about. I found out on June that year. I do not know the… current status of their relationship. But whether or not the engagement is still on, it does not matter."

He made a mental note to kick Erwin's ass later. "And that was the cause of your separation."

"We ended our intimate relationship. I refused to be a part of it. I did not want to be the other woman. Thus, we were at a crossroad: should we go on our separate ways and never to speak to each other again… or should we try for a compromise."

"You settled on a compromise," Levi immediately answered.

"He was adamant to keep me in his life," she smiled. It was beautiful and it was sad. "The following months went fine – casual lunch and dinner and friendly texts. But one night realized that we can never truly be 'just friends.' There would always be a part in me that yearned for him. Once I made that realization, I preoccupied myself with work. So our friendship just… faded away over time."

The smile was still on her face as she looked at him. "And here we are now."

"Yes," he sighed. "And here you are now."

"Does it still seem like a fairy-tail romance, Levi?" she asked teasingly, repeating his previous words. "I hope I satisfied your curiosity about my past relationship. If you have any other further questions –

"Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night?"

Literally doing a double take, she blinked, her mouth slightly agape, "…Excuse me?"

A small smile played on his lips at her flustered form, "Dinner tomorrow night. At the _Jardinière_." He would never say it out loud, but he felt bad for questioning her. His questions stemmed from genuine concern for his friend and in no means did he intend to make her feel uncomfortable. He quickly thought to make it up to her over dinner.

"I…" Mikasa hesitated. When was the last time she had gone out with a man? All of her memories were of _him_. It was almost pathetic, if it was not for the fact that he had been her first love.

And she refused to be pathetic.

Before she knew it, the words had flown out of her mouth. "I would love to, Levi."

Giving a rather triumphant and pleased grin, his fingers took her pen, which was beside the cluster pile of her work, and began to write numbers on a napkin.

"I believe I already have your phone number," she said when he slid it to her. She remembered he gave her his work card during their previous meeting a few months ago.

"This is my personal number," Levi said playfully as he stood, checking the time on his wristwatch. "Text me your address and I'll pick you up. Until then, Mikasa."

Speechless, she stared at the back of his head as he exited the coffee shop. Once he was out of her sight, she rubbed her palm over her face, _what the hell did she get herself into_?

* * *

"_You little minx!_"

Mikasa cringed, her hand jerking away as Hanji screamed oddly enthusiastic through the phone.

"And he just asked you?!"

She sighed, flopping on her bed face first then turning to face the ceiling, "Yes. I was going to refuse, but then I thought why the hell not?" She absently played with the tie of her silk robe. "Levi is taking me to the _Jardinière _tomorrow. Have you heard of it?"

"Moblit brought me there to dinner once. He told me he had to get a reservation two weeks in advance! It's _expensive_, but the French cuisine is amazing. But back to you, my dear, I think it's good you accepted his proposal. It'll be good to see other people."

"You're making a bigger deal than it is, Hanji. It's a simple, casual dinner. That's all."

"I think he has a thing for you. He knew you were going to be at the coffee shop for God's sake!"

Mikasa rolled her eyes. "I'm _always_ at the coffee shop."

"Well, he planned it! He asked about your relationship with Erwin, I bet that was just an excuse to see if you're single, you beautiful woman. Of course, with that _ass_ of yours –

"Goodnight, Hanji," she retorted before abruptly hanging up her phone. That woman could be so embarrassing at times.

Before she could change her mind, Mikasa stretched her arm to the bedside table to retrieve the napkin with Levi's number, hastily sending only her address and name. Not even a minute had passed by and already she received a message, _I thought you'd never text me. I have a reservation at 7:30. I'll pick you up an hour before. Wear something nice. Goodnight, Mikasa._

Biting her lip, she replied, _Thank you. Goodnight as well, Levi. _

After she sent it, she recalled Hanji's words about the reservation. Her crazy mentor might be right, maybe Levi did plan everything ahead of time.

Goodness, all this thinking was giving her a headache.

An hour later, Mikasa found herself sitting on her granite counter, drinking dessert wine straight from the bottle. It was sweet, yet inside she felt bitter.

Erwin had gifted her this bottle years ago.

She groaned, her head lolling back. Laying her entire body on the counter, she accepted the cold contact on her skin and her eyelids fluttered close.

Whilst in sleep, the emotional scars that contained her best and worst memories began to open.

* * *

The morning after was as special as the night before.

Her dress remained. The only article of clothing discarded was his shirt. His belt was discarded as well, and the top button of his pants unbuttoned.

They had drifted off to sleep around dawn, the hotel room giving off an orange shade through the white, translucent blinds. It was a miracle that things did not get out of hand. The majority of the night consisted of kissing exposed skin over kept clothes.

Waking up a few hours later, the room was now bright since the sun had already risen up. She was the first one to wake, glancing at her handsome bedmate with ruffled blonde hair. The fact that he was 12 years older than her made her heart race. But right now, he did not look like a 38-year old man – more like a man who had just entered his thirties.

Blue eyes suddenly met hers and his lips quirked to a crooked grin, a dimple on his left cheek. "Morning, Gorgeous."

"Good morning," she replied quietly. It was the first time she had woken up with a man in bed with her.

Sensing her shyness, his fingers reached to stroke her hair. "How are you feeling?" Erwin asked softly.

Of all the words she could have said… "Hungry."

He laughed, the sound coming from his bare chest. He shifted to pick up his shirt on the floor right beside the bed and simultaneously checked his watch. "Good. We have time."

Mikasa sat up and fixed her dress. "Time for what?"

"Breakfast." His smile was wide now, buttoning his shirt to the right places. "I'm sure that the _Five Leaves _would accommodate us nicely."

She was utterly confused. "Wait, what –

Before she knew it, his lips crashed into hers, warm hands placed on her bare shoulder. Her confusion went out the window as she responded eagerly, her fingers drifting to side of his face.

He pulled away before they could get further, "Now, get changed. I don't think I can restrain myself from kissing you in public while you're in that dress."

While she tied her hair up and changed into jeans and a silk blouse, Erwin had called the front desk and asked for directions to the _Five Leaves_ restaurant. It was a walking distance from the hotel. The back of their hands would occasionally brush each other as they walked.

Erwin wanted to learn her, so he questioned about her education – how she was interested in law, how she was accepted into Harvard. She decided to tell him the truth that the reason for her interest in law, specifically criminal defense, was due to a human trafficking incident when she was a child. She witnessed the lawyer assigned to her case prosecute the traffickers who took her. From then on, she was inspired. After losing her parents in the process of the incident, she was orphaned and soon taken in by the Jaegers, a family line of doctors in the medical field.

The breakfast at the _Five Leaves _placed a pause on their conversation. Erwin was delighted with the fact that they both wanted their coffee black. Apparently, it was the first time he encountered a woman who drank black coffee.

"What does your stomach tell you?"

After glancing at the menu for a minute, she replied rather excitedly, "I feel that the ricotta pancakes are calling for me."

Erwin had only ordered a chocolate almond croissant. Once the pancakes arrived, Mikasa had a sweet smile on her face and she just realized how hungry she really was. The ball last night did not have satisfying food – in addition, their _activities _last night, though enjoyable, exhausted her.

He stared at the pancakes, eyeing the butter, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, and thick maple syrup. "That looks… amazing" The croissant on his plate looked comically lame – sprinkles of thin almond slices and lines of chocolate syrup. She was about to eat the slice of pancake she had cut, but changed her mind and waved her fork at him, silently giving him the first bite with an amused smile.

Their conversation continued and Mikasa turned the tables, asking about his past. Erwin only mentioned that it was what his father would have wanted since he was an attorney as well.

They exited the restaurant, his hand twined with hers, but not before having a little scuffle on who would pay the bill. Both of them insisted on paying and eventually Erwin won by charming the waitress.

"I have to leave soon," he casually stated as they walked back to the hotel. "I have a flight to Los Angeles this afternoon."

"Oh." Los Angeles… that was on the other side of the country.

"I'll be back here in three days," he continued.

It was a repetition of last night. He did not voice it, but the choice was up to her, whether she wanted to see him again or not.

Mikasa smiled, squeezing his hand lightly, "When can I see you again?"

* * *

It had literally been years since Mikasa felt her eyes well up in tears. Probably the last time she did was when her adopted mother died.

It was a normal day for her – wake up, a text from Erwin, coffee, work, lunch, work, another text from Erwin, work, and then sun began to set, telling her it was time to return. The only odd thing was the black, sleek limo parked right beside her BMW. She gripped her back tightly as she approached her car, ready to defend herself if something happens.

The window from the passenger's seat behind the driver rolled down, revealing a skinny man, one with a goatee and a thin mustache.

She recognized him from the papers and the presidential ball last year, barely talking to him for more than a minute – political pundit Nile Dok.

She did not particularly like him. His words can be bluntly harsh and he always goes straight to the point. Like right now, not even a smile or a polite greeting. "I have to clarify, Mikasa. Are you and Erwin Smith involved?"

Her eyes narrowed at his question, "… I believe my relationships with other people are none of your concern, Mr. Dok."

"If it concerns Erwin Smith, then it does."

"We are close friends." Well, it was half of the truth.

"Close friends," he scoffed. "Well, whatever your relationship with him is – it needs to stop."

Who did this guy think he is? Resisting the urge to slap his face with her armful of packets, she gripped them tighter. "And why do you oppose my _friendship _with him?"

"Because he is an engaged man," his lips curled into a grimace. "To my estranged wife."

As the limo left, the world had incredible timing and her phone vibrated. It was a message from Erwin, he had prepared dinner at her flat. (She had given him a key to her home a few months ago.)

Upon entering her home, her lips were greeted with a kiss – warm and full of love. She kissed back hesitantly, a hand on his arm, feeling the fabric of his wooly sweater.

He pulled away, noticing a change to her usual behavior, his thumb stroking her cheek, "Are you okay? Something happened at work?" It was amazing how he knew her more than anyone else. It was like he knew her for years, rather than 7 months.

She gave a weak smile. "Just tired. And hungry."

Their dinner did not end well. With a mention of Congresswoman Marie Dok, she saw Erwin's posture stiffen. From his reaction, Mikasa had to continue; she needed to know the truth. It resulted with her in tears and Erwin banging his fist against her door as she shoved him out the door.

It was shocking how he managed to keep it from her for months. He acted like he was a young bachelor, not an engaged man.

When he did not deny the truth, it was a painful slash to her skin, one that would scar for who knows how long.

Congresswoman Marie Dok was an exceptional lady with a glowing reputation. She is a virtuous supporter of feminism, highly respected and admired by women. There was nothing wrong with _her_... and it made Mikasa sick to her stomach.

Crouching beside the toilet and spewing half of Erwin's cooking, the cold tile floors pressed to her skin and her head rested on her knees. _Where do we go from here?_


	3. Chapter 3 - Desire

Contribution to EruMika Week.

Day 3 - **Desire**

**Note**: There is **rivamika **in this.

* * *

"You look stunning," Levi acclaimed as he stood before the open front door of her flat, his eyes scanning over her form. Mikasa wore a navy blue, silk sleeveless dress that flared lightly above her knees and her medium length hair in elegant waves. Her pale skin complemented the dark color of her dress. He was grateful that she was mindful of his shorter height, opting to wear flats instead of heels.

"Thank you. You as well." He wore his usual cravat (one that was clean as a sheet), a crisp, white button-down shirt and expensively cut blazer and pants.

"I don't think you can describe me as stunning… and, we match," he pointed out. Comically enough, he wore navy blue as well. "Let's get going, shall we?"

Collecting her black wool coat and purse, she placed her left hand within the inner crease of his elbow as he extended out his right arm, while locking the door with the key on her right hand. The elevator descended from the 20th floor and to the underground parking lot. Levi hooked his index finger within his pocket, obtaining his car keys. The car that matched his key lit up – a sophisticated grayish-black Mercedes Benz.

Opening the car's passenger seat, she thanked him as she slid in. "Very nice car," Mikasa commented, running her palms gingerly on the leather seat.

He seemed pleased with himself. "The S Class. I have always wanted a lavish car." He turned on the engine, the car purring faintly. "It had been a dream of mine since I was a child."

She noticed that his tone went marginally melancholy. Though, she did have a hunch that he did not have the kindest upbringing. There was a veiled semblance in his eyes, other people may not see it, but she can – because she had been there before, experienced the same pain he did.

Mikasa did not question him. She knew better than to pry. Instead, her fingers fiddled with his radio, accidentally pressing the play button. She immediately recognized the song as the soft tones of piano keys transmitted within the car's interior.

"Yann Tiersen," Mikasa spoke softly. "_L'Absente_."

"You listen to classical?" he inquired, a little surprised that she identified the composer and title of the song within the first few seconds.

"Yes, it is quite soothing." She closed her eyes as the keys began to play faster like a flowing stream.

Their car ride consisted of songs composed by more Yann Tiersen, the endearing _Minuet (in G major) _by Sebastian Bach, and two songs composed by Claude Debussy, _Claire de Lune _and _Arabesque No. 1_. The CD within his player was a personal mix he created, compiling all his favorite classics.

_Arabesque No. 1 _had ended as they arrived at the _Jardinière_. It was quite far from her place, the car ride lasted for more than a half-hour. The valet opened Mikasa's door while Levi handed his keys to the young man, giving a silent glare as the boy nodded sharply in understanding.

Mikasa felt his hand lightly press against the small of her back, ushering her through the long line of customers. She remained silent as Levi spoke to the _Maître 'D _and they were soon seated within a partially secluded corner of the two-floor, oval shaped restaurant. The first floor consisted of the bar and lounge, and the band was situated there, while the second floor was for the customers' dining. The _Maître 'D _bent forward as Levi whispered something to his ear, too low for Mikasa to hear. The young man's cheeks began to give a red hue before giving a slight bow and walked away.

"You and the _Maitre 'D _seem quite close," she teased as Levi pulled out the chair for her.

"Jealous much?" He grinned as he took his seat. "Afraid that he'll take your place as my date?" Levi requested the finest champagne and slyly handed him a handsome tip.

Mikasa chose not to comment on his mention that this was a date. "Not in the least," she laughed as her eyes began to wander the exquisite restaurant. "This is really nice." She turned to smile at him, "Thank you for bringing me here."

"Don't thank me yet. The night has just begun."

The food did not disappoint. Levi handed her the menu, telling her that she was free to choose whatever she wanted. She was not familiar with French cuisine so she gave him full responsibility on their course of dinner since he was accustomed with the _Jardinière's _dishes.

The first dish, royal white sturgeon caviar, was settled on their table. Mikasa admitted that she had never tried caviar before and it tasted delicious with the company of champagne. The risotto with lobster mushroom and parmigiano was delectable and heavy to the stomach. They shared the entire plate, looking like it was licked clean by the time it was finished.

"When was the last time you were treated like this?" Levi droned after he ordered their dessert. It surprised him that he was enjoying himself. His previous dates with many women became uninteresting and boring.

"You already know the answer to that." She remained nonchalant as she sipped her champagne.

"I just want hear it from your lips." Refilling his glass, he stared at the fizzling bubbles and, through the transparency, her image. "It annoys me to see you limit yourself when it is a known fact that you are a strong, confident woman."

"And it is more infuriating to know how he managed to let you slip through his fingers."

"Why does it infuriate you?"

Suddenly, she was aware of the atmosphere and their surroundings. The vintage lamp on their table casted a shadow upon his face, showing how attractive he really was, and his stare becoming bolder by the second. She tried to hold his gaze, but somehow could not handle the intensity. She glanced down at her lap, uncharacteristically flustered. It had been literally years since she looked a man that way in the eye.

Mikasa felt his fingers play with the ends of her hair. "I don't know," he murmured. "Maybe it's because… you are as lonely as I am."

"Are you not involved with Petra Ral?" she whispered as she looked at him, trying to steer the conversation to a different direction.

However, his fingers did not stop. "I will always care for her, but she is too pure to be with someone like me. I don't think I would have given her the happiness she deserves. And besides, she has already found another, one that brings her cheerful smiles."

He sighed, a faint sadness seeping into his eyes, "I am not getting any younger, Mikasa. I think my greatest fear is to die alone – it was how I began and it would be ironically fitting if that is how I end."

She understood. Completely. It was nothing to be ashamed of. "That is my greatest fear as well, Levi."

"Then perhaps we should come to an agreement. If I am not married by the time I reach 50th year of my life, will you accept my hand in marriage?"

Mikasa scoffed at the ridiculousness of the idea. "It's funny because we already have the same surname."

He laughed, resuming his fingers to play with her hair, "We could secretly get married. No one will know."

Regardless, his idea was not bad. She already considered herself crazy, so why should she refuse.

Not to be alone. A lifetime guarantee.

"If you don't tie the knot within 8 years, I will gladly accept your proposal."

* * *

"To us," Levi raised his glass of red wine. After their dessert, he brought her to the _Jardinière_'s bar and lounge in the first floor. They sat on the last two barstools at the end of the bar's long counter, a five-cheese platter and crackers to go with their beverage. "May we find happiness in each other when the time comes."

"Indeed. When the time comes," Mikasa repeated softly and clinked his glass with hers, taking a few sips of red wine and a small piece of _Roquefort _cheese, placing it on a cracker.

"Do you know I have a talent of smelling cheese?"

Nearly spluttering his drink, he snorted ungentlemanly, grabbing a couple of napkins and thanking the heavens that nothing splashed on his white shirt. She muffled her amusement with the back of her hand.

"Excuse me?" his tone nearly incredulous, but he was obviously curious.

"I can tell the name of cheese just by smelling. With my eyes closed as well." In the past, when she lived with Hanji, it was a game they always played because Hanji _loved _cheese. (Sometimes her assistant, Sasha, would join in and dominate the game, finishing a pound of cheese in the process.) After recalling the fragrance of a type of cheese, Mikasa instantly became an expert in the art of cheese smelling.

"Alright. Close your eyes. Did you look at the platter?" It would be an unfair advantage if she knew what cheeses were present, simply by narrowing the selection down.

With her eyelids closed, she shook her head, "No, I did not. I only know the _Roquefort _cheese."

"Okay." His voice sounded different, older, since she could not see his face. "Don't move, I'll place it right beneath your nose."

Before he knew it, she had listed the four cheeses within the plate perfectly – _Camembert, Boursin, Brie de Meaux, _and _Munster_. Levi even tried to foil her by asking what type of milk was used for the _Brie de Meaux_ and she responded correctly with the answer of cow.

"You said you weren't familiar with French cuisine," he accused, breaking a cracker for himself.

"Yes, I don't know French _cuisine_. French _cheese_, on the other hand,is an entirely different matter."

"Extraordinary," he shook his head. "Why are you even an attorney? I don't see why you're not a cheese expert."

"Maybe when I get tired of being an attorney," she retorted to his playful jab.

Of course, the world was cruel and had such _impeccable_ timing.

Just as the night was about to list in Mikasa's top 3, the unfamiliar voice of a woman halted their so-called "date."

"Attorney Ackerman."

Unsure to whom she was addressing, they both turned to face a beautifully smiling woman with dark brown hair tied in a bun, wearing a black spaghetti dress and heels. "It is a pleasant surprise to see you both here."

Mikasa had seen and heard of this woman from the press, but never actually in person. Absently, she thought that the woman was lovelier off the screen.

For a moment, she suddenly lost her voice. Her brain refusing to serve its purpose to spout out a proper greeting. Instead, her brain began to register the identity of this woman.

Levi managed to save her smoothly and greeted the woman.

"Good evening, Congresswoman Dok."

Marie laughed softly, "Oh, I think Ms. Ackerman already had too much to drink. I thought that undercut looked very familiar – of course, I could never forget Erwin's friends."

Levi had never met her in person either, but she was famous within the political world. He recalled Mikasa's words, that the engagement had been a secret only few knew about. "It did not occur to me that you knew Erwin, Congresswoman."

"Calling me Marie is just fine, Levi. Erwin has been so busy, being the head of the firm and all. But I decided to drag him out of his office and get some dinner to celebrate."

"So that means, he is here?" Levi asked stiffly.

"He is currently in the washroom. I think he would be glad to see you and your companion."

_He's here._

Abruptly getting off her stool, she muttered an apologetic "excuse me" before hastily walking away with Levi calling her name. Before she could exit the bar and lounge, her feet froze in their tracks as the frame of a tall, blonde man stood blocking her only avenue.

The man she thought she would never see again. The man she managed to avoid for nearly 4 years. The man who made her feel special and loved. The man she gave her heart to, and in return, shattered it into tiny fragments.

The man who looked utterly confused with paper towels pressed against his damp hands.

"Mikasa."

His voice emanated through her ears. The sound was familiar, but there was a difference – a change that came with age.

Her frozen form gazed into the stunning blue eyes that have comforted and haunted her.

Swallowing inaudibly, her voice was as soft as the wind.

"Erwin."

Mikasa's heart leaped as he walked closer to her, as if trying to apprehend if she was real. She was startled when his large arms enveloped her into an embrace. Her cheeks became warm as they pressed against his shoulder, her knees felt weak with his touch, and her mind in a dizzy state as she caught a whiff of his recognizable scent. The embrace was long, half a minute at most, and she was painfully aware of their bodies molded together.

He pulled away, both hands grasping the skin of upper arms, producing goosebumps.

His blonde hair was parted as always and the length a few centimeters longer. His eyebrows remained the same. She could faintly see prickles of facial hair aligning his chin and jaw.

"How are you?" Erwin asked her, his eyes a bit sad as he released his hands.

"I'm good," she replied awkwardly. "And you?"

Before he could respond, Mikasa felt a different hand touch her shoulder. Her neck twisted to the left and saw Levi, his expression unreadable and indifferent. "I didn't expect you to be here, Erwin. We were just chatting with Congresswoman Marie Dok."

Erwin's eyes twitched, "I see, Levi. And what is your business here?"

He taunted him with an arrogant grin, his hand slipping from her shoulder and to her outer waist. "A date with Mikasa."

"This is just splendid," Marie interrupted excitedly as she hooked on to Erwin's arm, a glass of dessert white wine within her other arm. "Now, we can properly celebrate."

Before the glass reached her lips, Erwin's hand held her wrist, his tone was a warning, "Marie."

"Oh, stop fussing, Erwin. A little sip won't hurt our baby."

Mikasa gasped, like someone had punched her in the chest, her left hand covering her mouth, eyes wide as they bore into Erwin's panicked ones.

"Marie!" Erwin snapped.

So that was what she meant by _celebrating_.

Levi's grip on her waist tightened, "Congratulations on you _pregnancy_, Congresswoman. Apologies for our rudeness, but we have another appointment to attend to." He strode out the bar and lounge, ushering Mikasa by the waist, not even sparing a glance at them, and dragged her to the front as he barked at the valet to get his car.

Her hand was still placed over her mouth. Levi pulled it down, giving her a sympathetic glance, "I can take you home or we can go to another bar, if you want. I know one that is a few minutes from your place."

"… Do they have strong, hard liquor?"

* * *

With his hand around her waist, Levi helped her out of his car and into the elevator. They had just realized that she left her coat at one of the stools in the bar and lounge, but at the moment Mikasa, in her half- inebriated state, did not care.

She leaned heavily against the steel walls, once again welcoming their coldness. They were silent until reaching her front door. Fumbling for the keys from her purse, she opened her door and before entering, she turned to face him.

Mikasa smiled faintly, "I had a wonderful time, Levi. I truly did." It was no lie.

"Are you alright?" She could smell the scotch from his breath.

"No. Not really."

"Do you need anything?" It was sweet that he was concerned for her.

She shook her head, her clouded eyes strangely focusing on his lips.

"…I enjoyed our time together," he whispered, his throat dry from drinking.

"Thank you. It has been years since I've had an enjoyable night." Her eyes met his and she felt a pleasurable twist in her stomach as she could see _desire_. "I don't want to think anymore. I just want to forget everything…"

Her words faded as she kissed the corner of his lip, a simple press and before she could pull away completely, his hand gently grasped the back of her head, his fingers weaving through her hair. "Let me help you," he uttered before kissing her fully on the mouth, at first moist and slow, savoring her taste of lime and tequila.

Her eyes closed as she gave in to desire, gripping the front of his blazer as he explored her lips, stroking them with his tongue. She kissed him back, demanding and with the need to be in control. When he accidentally bit her bottom lip, a shiver slid down her spine and she forcefully pulled his body into her home. The door slammed shut as she pushed Levi against it, her mouth bruising against his, and already, she felt a hardness against her thigh.

Grasping his wrist, she dragged him to her bedroom, roughly pushing him down on the middle of the bed as he cursed, his hands on her waist as she straddled him. Her movements were stimulated by blind desire, a hand reaching at the back to unzip her dress, and she felt a connection with the man who was currently taking of his blazer.

He shifted her weight to the side as he rolled. This time successfully taking his blazer off and her fingers unbuttoned his shirt, hastily pulling it off before grabbing his hair for another frantic kiss.

Her heart was racing, beating loudly to her ears as her mouth exhausted her anger to roughly respond to his kisses until their lips were swollen.

"God," Levi groaned, licking his lips to soothe their aching. Never had he experienced such intensity. The wild woman beneath him savagely attacked his neck, licking and biting, and he didn't give a damn if they were to leave marks.

Her dress was loose as it was unzipped. He clutched the silk material and dragged it down her body, through her arms, and out her legs. He sat up, wanting to savor the image of her clad in black, lacy undergarments, while her fingers trailed from his hair, shoulders, chest, and stomach.

Wanting to give her pleasure as well, he reciprocated her attack from his neck and onto hers. She panted and he consumed her skin when she said his name.

"Levi," Mikasa opened her eyes, blinking rapidly since it was in a fog. "W-What are you thinking about?"

"Devouring you."

She moaned as his tongue traced her collarbone, her hands on his bare shoulders. "I've…I've only been with one man."

"I thought you wanted to forget," he breathed against the top of her breasts before kissing each swell through the thin, lacy fabric.

"Yes," she gasped, unsure of herself if it was in response to his statement or to the treatment on her chest.

"You don't need him," he grunted as he tried to find the clasp of her bra, and only when she arched her back, he did. "I should have done this years ago," he groaned as her toes cleverly nudged his pants down inch by inch until it was around his knees. Before tossing it aside, he rummaged to find the condom in his wallet.

"Mikasa," Levi muttered as she once again used her toes to pull down his underwear while she worked on his jaw. "Mika–" She forcefully grabbed his other jaw to capture his lips.

It was a miracle he managed to put on the condom without looking.

"Just be inside me, please," Mikasa mumbled before nibbling his ear.

It was erotic, sexy, and _fuck it. _

He was not going to deny her. Couldn't.

He was going to make her forget about _him_ – even if it was only for one night.

* * *

Mikasa was in heaven.

It was just another normal day – a late Friday afternoon. Erwin arrived only a few minutes ago with a duffle bag and his paperwork since he was going to stay over the weekend. Before she knew it, they were on the bed and his lips were everywhere.

Passionate kisses placed upon her neck and throat caused her world to spin. His kisses were becoming more insistent, eager and leaving her completely breathless. And for some reason, it wasn't enough for her. She wanted more.

She was _ready_ for more.

With his sweater and her over-sized t-shirt thrown aside, her fingers shyly landed on his belt and began to unbuckle it.

He stopped, detaching his lips from hers and stared at her in surprise.

They had come to an agreement that his pants and belt was the boundary. It was the line drawn specifically for her – her choice if she wanted to take the next step.

"Mikasa," he let out a breath.

"Erwin. I don't think I ever got a chance to tell you this…" She sat up, taking both of his hands in hers.

"What is it?"

Biting her lip, she prepared herself.

"This will be my first time."

She watched as a variety of emotions swept across his face, waiting for his words. "Wow… really?"

Mikasa nodded, her eyes glued to their twined hands.

"You want to have your first time with me?"

His question was like a bucket of cold water, dumping over her nerves as they went down the drain. Her eyes met his and she gave him a blank, _you're so stupid _look.

He laughed, a handsome (and a little naughty) grin spread across his face. "I'll take that as a yes, then."

Undressed and fully exposed naked bodies, sharing them for the first time, and their kisses were no different in the level of intimacy as the previous ones. His touch was gentle and loving, handling her a little more carefully since he discovered her recent detail.

Whispering declarations and praises of each other's physical condition and meeting the other's approval. Her eyes travelled below his abdominals. She has seen pictures of sexual organs within her a health class she attended, but this was the first time of seeing one up close and butterflies erupted in her stomach.

He caressed the side of her breast, trailing down her rib cage, then to her inner thigh. "It's alright, we don't need to rush. We have all the time in the world." He lifted up her right leg to kiss her calf, whispering that she was so warm, then began to touch her gently between the legs.

A finger placed inside her, caressing her folds, touching her sensitive spot as desire and excitement arose within her. She curled and moaned, the pleasure almost unbearable until she grabbed his wrist to stop before she burst.

She pleaded him, a dry whisper that nearly drove him insane as he locked his lips with hers once more. Wriggling her hips, she grasped his buttocks and he let out a chuckle, "I said we don't need to rush."

Her mind still in a haze of pleasure, "I want you."

"I know," he whispered, smiling and touching her cheek. "I love you."

She breathed out the same words and soon he parted her legs, positioning himself. There was going to be nothing between them – it was an option both of them wanted since Mikasa was on the pill.

"Relax." He slowly pushed forward, slowly until he reached a barrier. Cupping her cheek, he kissed her and simultaneously pushed through. Tearing her lips away from his, she gave a little cry and he mumbled apologies against her skin, reassuring her that the worst was over when she felt the pain fade.

Pain turned to discomfort and eventually pleasure.

The words he breathed into her neck and ears were very erotic, a tight voice and damp forehead, his blonde hair in a ruffled mess, telling her that she felt so good. The incredible and tingling sensation building from within her once more as she clutched at him, wrapping her arms and legs, encouraging him to go faster.

It was unexpected, but not unwanted as her body suddenly clamped around him. A moan that she could not contained escaped her, pure pleasure that was blinding ecstasy. It was tight, sweaty, and she loved it as he groaned her name into her mouth, finding his own release, and their desire finally satiated.


End file.
